What great news to start the New Year with. For each of the past few years the residents of New York City have had to sweat out whether or not we could keep our firehouses open. In a neighborhood like ours, with all of the wood framed houses so close to one another, losing a firehouse could be a fatal mistake.
But we are so happy to learn that money has been found to save our firehouse. And that money has been found to keep our libraries open and up to date. And that a little extra cash was found to keep our schools fully staffed and stocked with supplies.
We’re assuming that this money has been found because only after all of these vital services have been secured would we expect you to drop half a million dollars on a feasibility study for building a “public greenway” right next to one that already exists.
The “Brooklyn-Queens Greenway” runs from Woodhaven through Richmond Hill and Kew Gardens all the way up to Queens Boulevard. It’s a beautiful stretch of land, well used by bicyclists and walkers and runners and nature enthusiasts.
The proposed public greenway – or “QueensWay” as it has become known - is very close to the existing one. In fact, they’re not merely close to one another, they intersect.
What an embarrassment of riches – two greenways that cross over one another! It’s a good thing all those other vital services are taken care of.
What’s that you say? They’re not taken care of? We still have to sweat out losing our firehouse this summer? Our kids still have to deal with dwindling hours and staff at our libraries and schools?
Oh dear, that’s certainly a disappointment.
Wait a moment, I have an idea. I’ll do the feasibility study for you, and for a fraction of the price you’re shelling out right now. As a matter of fact, I’ll FOC it for you…as in “free of charge.” Won’t cost the taxpayers a penny and as a result you’ll get a beautiful “public greenway” for next to nothing.
All you have to do is erect a nice new sign on the “Brooklyn-Queens Greenway,” call it the “QueensWay” and we’re good to go.
Now as for the proposed reactivation of the railroad, most of the tracks already exist above ground through Ozone Park so those could probably be reactivated with no bother, provided the residents of Ozone Park don’t object. But squeezing it through Woodhaven will be a problem.
Assemblyman Phil Goldfeder, an avid supporter of the reactivation, has used a pejorative term about the residents of Woodhaven, calling them NIMBYs, as in “not in my back yard.” Not only is it a poor idea to insult those who you wish to convert to your way of thinking, but it’s not entirely accurate.
A proper NIMBY is one who advocates for a certain policy only to object when it is placed in his or her own community. For example, calling for more prisons, but objecting when one is built near your home. Or calling for wind power but objecting to the erection of turbines that obstruct your view of the ocean. Those are true NIMBYs.
As far as we can tell, there’s no call for a railroad by the residents of Woodhaven, thus negating the charge. Besides the fact, it’s undignified for an elected official to resort to name-calling when the residents of Woodhaven are merely exerting their right to defend their community.
I’m sorry, Governor, I got sidetracked, but while I have your ear I’ll give you a feasibility study on the railroad, as well. FOC. Run it past the casino to Atlantic Avenue and hook it up with the Long Island Railroad that’s been running along Atlantic for over a century. Get the casino to pay for it. End of story.
Thanks for your time, hope this advice helps. Now you can put that half a million bucks to good use protecting the people of New York.
Happy New Year from Woodhaven!