In our apparent and utter naivete, we thought by awarding points to politicians for such noble acts as renaming streets, handing out giant oversized checks, and cutting ribbons, that we just might spur them to get out into their districts for a few more photo-ops and some good old-fashioned glad-handing, keeping them in touch with their constituencies. Sure. we might be typing this from our humble office in the dank and dingy basement of the Ledger/Star Corporate Tower, but our ambitions have never been anything less than lofty and wholly altruistic.
Now, we feel like a laughingstock.
Thank you, Councilman Anthony Como.
Last week, we received no less than nine e-mails from the councilman’s office between 11:38 a.m. and 12:14 p.m., and many others outside that time frame. In each one, the councilman was engaged in some pretty extreme politicking. We were shocked, as e-mail after e-mail that we opened contained an attached photo of the councilman handing out a proclamation or presenting a giant novelty check to some smiling and happy representative from a civic group or school. We took it personally.
Obviously the councilman doesn’t take the sanctity of the XPols seriously. How else were we to interpret his barrage of e-mails as anything less than a mockery of the competition? Apparently, the upstart pol, who has been in office all of about two months, thought he could single-handedly put an end to this year’s XPols in a little less than 45 minutes, and just mere months after FY2009 competition had begun.
All told, he racked up 10 point in three-quarters of an hour in those e-mails alone, adding to an impressive point total he had already accumulated. In no time, Como left the competition in the dust, unless you count State Senator Serphin Maltese, who was handing out proclamations of his own in about half of the photos.
At first we here at Pol Position were hurt, but as is our wont we quickly realized that it’s not us, it’s you. And by “you” we mean all of you other politicians. Really, does it have to be an election year for you to take the XPols seriously? Many of you have years and years of experience in office, yet you let some “rookie” come in and steal this competition from you? You ought to be ashamed.
But we are nothing if not forgiving, so we have consulted the XPols Board of Directors and taken a bold and unprecedented step. We have declared Councilman Anthony Como the winner in a truncated season and are giving all of you other so-called politicians a chance to get off the snide, pull your staff together, and figure out a new game plan. A new XPols competition will be starting from scratch beginning…now. Get to work.
We can’t even believe it had to come to this.
We’re not mad, just disappointed in you.