Jerk season about to get into full swing
by Ed Wendell
Mar 12, 2014 | 636 views | 0 0 comments | 6 6 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Though we might get hit with one or two last blasts of winter, we’re starting to see signs of spring, which is now officially about a week away. And with the change in season and the change in weather comes a host of quality of life issues that make you look back on snow days fondly.

The temps had just barely crept above 50 degrees when the motorbikes began buzzing up and down the streets. Suddenly, the cars that were driving around all winter with their windows closed have their windows wide open, music blaring, the pounding vibration of the beat rattling windows and nerves.

Pretty soon, as temps go even higher, we’ll start hearing about loud house parties, where music pounds away until 2 or 3 in the morning.

In other words, people will start acting like jerks.

I like to call it the “jerk index,” the percentage that one of your neighbors or someone on your block is likely to start acting like a jerk.

That’s not to say that winter doesn’t bring out its own brand of jerky behavior. There are a lot of jerks in the winter, from those that don’t shovel their sidewalk to those who shovel snow into the middle of the street before the snow has even stopped falling.

But during the winter, most of your jerks stay indoors, mostly bothering their own family. As the temps rise, the jerks come out to play. For the next few weeks, as the temperatures climb, the jerk index will rise along with it. By the time we hit July the jerk index will skyrocket, hitting 100, meaning that there will be a 100 percent chance that one of your neighbors or someone on your block will act like a jerk.

Just like you can’t avoid spring or summer, you can’t avoid the jerk season, but you can take precautions. For example, you can try to deal with pesky jerks by calling 311 whenever they act up. That’s a good start, but it’s only effective if you take notes; make sure you keep all your 311 complaint numbers. You may need them later on if your jerk problem gets worse.

To deal with really bad jerk issues, you might need to see a specialist. In this case, your best bet is the Woodhaven Residents’ Block Association. The WRBA has been battling jerks for over four decades. Over the last few years we’ve had some success dealing with all kinds of jerks, from those inconsiderate neighbors who make too much noise to the slobby jerks who don’t clean up after their dogs.

Now that jerk season is here, you might want to consider getting involved with the WRBA, coming out to a meeting, finding out how to handle the jerks that aggravate you. The Woodhaven Residents' Block Association will hold their next monthly meeting at 1 p.m. this Saturday, March 15, at Emanuel United Church of Christ, 91st Avenue and Woodhaven Boulevard.

Come out and tell the WRBA what problems you have been having. We usually have the 102nd Precinct at our meetings, as well as elected officials and members of the local media. If you are having jerk issues or you are anticipating an issue with a jerk, a Block Association meeting is a great place to start getting help.

The WRBA will be meeting in two locations throughout 2014.  Emanuel United Church of Christ is one and the other is the American Legion, 91st Street and 89th Avenue, behind PS 60. (See meeting schedule.)

We can’t guarantee that we can resolve all of your issues, but we do have a good track record of dealing with the quality of life issues that can aggravate you. But you need to make the next move. Hope to see you this Saturday.

2014 WRBA Meetings

• Thursday, April 24 @ 7 p.m. – American Legion Hall

• Saturday, May 17 @ 1 p.m. - American Legion Hall

• Saturday, June 21 @ 10 a.m. - American Legion Hall

• Saturday, July 19 @ 10 a.m. - Emanuel United Church

• Saturday, August 16 @ 10 a.m. - Emanuel United Church

• Thursday, September 18 @ 7 p.m. – American Legion Hall

• Saturday, October 18 @ 12 p.m. - American Legion Hall

• Saturday, November 15 @ 12 p.m. - American Legion Hall

• Saturday, December 13 @ 12 p.m. - Emanuel United Church

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