Paladino, Cuomo need to step up their games
Oct 19, 2010 | 13271 views | 0 0 comments | 115 115 recommendations | email to a friend | print
If you've been reading Pol Position lately, you know that we have been excited - really excited - about a showdown between "Crazy" Carl Paladino and Andrew "Just Don't Do or Say Anything Stupid and You'll Get Elected" Cuomo for weeks now. What kind of crazy things would Paladino say? Would he lose his temper? More importantly, would he get Cuomo to crack and fly off the handle?

Little did we know that those two would turn out to be the most boring candidates in the race!

All six of the gubernatorial candidates (yes, all six!) turned out for a debate Monday night because New York State politics is nothing if not inclusive. And it turns out that Paladino and Cuomo ended up being the most unexciting men on the stage. In fact, the two most recognizable names on the ballot, one of which will likely be the next governor of New York State, only got a combined 12 minutes of face time during the hour-long affair.

Both the Libertarian and Green parties were represented, the former by Warren Redlich and the latter by Howie Hawkins, who speaks in a baritone voice with a slight drawl and sounds more like a Baptist preacher from Amarillo than a Northeast politician.

And then there was Charles Barron, the outspoken City Council member from Brooklyn who, as he is known to do, talked tough, especially with Cuomo, who is the clear frontrunner in the race.

But by far the most entertaining candidates were Kristin Davis of the Anti-Prohibition Party and Jimmy McMillan from the Rent is 2 Damn High Party.

Davis is the former madam of an escort service, which she made no effort to hide. In fact, when asked about the MTA and service cuts, she said she was more than qualified to handle the challenge because as a madam, she managed girls who knew how to “deliver on-time” services.

In case you didn't figure it out already, McMillan is pretty much a one-issue candidate concerned that, you guessed it, the rent is too damn high. (It's also apparently too damn hot, as well, because he wore gloves the entire night.) Avid watchers of the New York political scene might recognize McMillan – he ran for mayor in 2005.

McMillan wasn't too specific about how he would lower rents, but apparently lowering rents will lead to curing the rest of society's ills. When pressed about other issues facing the state, McMillan was quick with an entertaining quip.

On gay marriage, McMillan said he didn't really care if you wanted to “marry a shoe.” On the huge budget deficit facing the state, McMillan showed not only his lack of financial acumen, but a lack of medical understanding as well when he replied, “it's like a cancer, it will heal itself.”

But while McMillan lacks political experience, he brings a wealth of other skills to the table, like Karate, which he said would be one of his greatest strengths up in Albany. He's also an amateur musician, and he posted a song on his website chastising the state for taking the word “damn” out of his party line on the ballot.

And about the gloves? McMillan says he wears them because he was exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam

"It could be psychological, I don't know, but I just put ‘em on and wear them anyway," he said.

Good enough for us. McMillan just won Pol Position's vote.

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