An adoption story
May 17, 2011 | 2829 views | 0 0 comments | 40 40 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Dear Editor:

New York State has the most antiquated laws concerning adoption and they need to be changed. When a child becomes of legal age they ought to have the right to these records. I have read over the years how both birth mothers and their children have tried to make contact. It has hardly ever been a thing for a father to try to do but I am one of them.

My wife and I were very young when we got married and had two children named Thomas Allen and Robert Joseph Bedell. While we lived in Hempstead at the Cathedral Garden Apartments, our relationship was falling apart and my wife left us. It was left to me to raise them as best as I could. I tried to be the greatest father to them and did what I could.

They were very young and I remember changing their diapers, feeding them and clothing them and helping them tie their shoes. At night I would read them their bedtime stories and helping them say their prayers. I remember how Tommy the oldest would help me and prepare breakfast for him and his brother, which was mainly cereal and juice.

I had lost my job through all this and couldn't pay the rent and with no support group and family and friends that could help they were placed in foster care through Nassau County Social Services. I enlisted in the Navy at that time to gain a better education so I could better provide for them. The problem was they could not stay where they were, where they received a great amount of love, and had to be moved to another home. Because they might not have received as much care and love, I finally had to agree to the adoption.

My regrets are many and I regret not teaching them baseball or football or helping them with their problems. I was never able to share their pain or their joys in life. They now are 42 and 41 years old and probably have children of their own.

There is a adoption records bill in the assembly according to a report that is sponsored by Assemblyman David Weprin and in the Senate is co-sponsored by Velmanette Montgomery and William Larkin. It is about time. I only hope they are successful in their most noble task. I feel the children who are now adults have a right to know medical history and their ancestry.

I would like to tell my sons if I ever meet them that the reason for the adoption was because I didn't have the means to provide for them but that I loved them and had to allow the adoption to proceed. I still love them today and keep a picture of them together which is in my wallet. I look at it every day when I open my wallet.

Sincerely,

Frederick Bedell

Glen Oaks Village
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